Kenyan Idiot

Last week with just 20 days until the March 4 th general elections the 8 presidential candidates made history by coming together at the Brook House International School in Nairobi to debate each other on an array of important issues ranging from land to corruption, and from education to integrity and the ICC question, the 3 hour debate was at times humorous, serious and at times heated, it was the first of two debates taking place this month. Strategy: Now with only 14 days left to the national election campaigns have accelerated into over drive with presidential candidates-8 in all-and their running mates are dashing from one end of the country to the other in an almost frantic effort to gather votes or sway those all important undecided voters. They are also appearing on both TV and can be heard on early morning radio shows giving interviews in a bid to sway even more voter their way. In this frenzy politicians are everywhere doing everything they can to get the publics ...

Kenya’s government officials: president, Vice and MP’s are some of the world’s highest paid civil servants. We have with time nursed and nourished an odd and exceedingly expensive culture and in the past few decades it has only soured to new heights of excess and greed perpetrated by a handful of skilled and educated not to mention smartly dressed law makers or- as many a Kenyan would rather address them- law benders or breakers. They do not do this to land themselves inside the wall cold tiny and dreary cement grey jail cell but to benefit and reward themselves for their long days of hard law making. And these rewards could not be bigger. From hiking up their salaries to awarding themselves allowances for anything from fuel, vacations and entertainment, it doesn’t end their however as they also give themselves some money to pay their house helps, gardeners and/or cooks. Kenyans are then stuck with this ever inflating bill through taxes.   This week however Kenyans sa...

The political nomination process should be quite straight forward; party members gather to elect the members they want to be on the ballot come election day, and in any country other than Kenya this would be true. If one is not nominated by its parties they gracefully bow out and congratulate the lucky winner for beating them fair and square and normally that is exactly what happens.   On this side of the world things just get complicated. From allegations of rigging, to inability to provide university certificates and even angry late night storming of IEBC offices in protest and near violent protests by angered voters. Even though the chaotic nominations took place a week or so ago they fall out or resulting comic and confusing errors are still hitting headlines and being talked or laughed about. P erhaps the strangest parts of these seemingly normal proceedings was the furore that Rachel Shebesh and Mary Wambui caused a stir- to put it lightly- on Wednesday evening a...

They left their homes, offices and possibly university class rooms to march in the unison of their discontent, a feeling not exclusive to these young men and women but one known to the country as a whole. So they braved the suns harsh rays carrying and lagging more than 200 boxes behind then or baring them on their shoulders. They walked in one voice to parliament* to do what their MP’s had wanted: a state funeral all be it without the rich colour, pomp and circumstance, the youth’s each with a uniform black wooden box fashioned into the shape of a casket which they proceeded to splash with fuel and burn in what took on the form of a bon fire. This act of defiance and cheek was as a result of the MP’s latest attempt last week to award themselves a hefty retirement package of millions and dozens of new perks, among them armed guards and state funerals. Perks weren’t the only gift MP’s gave themselves in this amendment –of a bill- to the retirement benefits bill 2012 MP’s lav...

That Kenyans find it hard to trust the police is no news to anyone young or old, and that they are nursing a rather sketch reputation is a well known fact but in the last 11 days or so this already ailing rep was further injured when Joshua Waiganjo’s jig as an imposter in the Police force was up. Waiganjo leapt from obscurity to nationwide ‘fame’ when he was arrested in Naivasha on December 31 st   after he abused his ‘power’ at a night club threatening to arrest the bouncers and patron after they demanded his payment at the gate. To keep the situation from getting out of hand the real cops were called in. The genuine officers’ suspicions were aroused by the hand cuffs Waiganjo had on him.   His arrest brought to light what seemed at first to many like a cruel but worrying joke as it was discovered that he had climbed the rungs of the hierarchy to the assistant commissioner of police and thus exposing a weakness in the internal workings of the forces charged with our...

The newlyweds are no more; as it is with a large number of young couples these days so it was on Friday that the newly minted Jubilee Alliance downsized itself and restored itself to a two person marriage- the do after all say that three’s a crowd. As Mudavadi burst the bubble on the seemingly happy home on Tuesday by revealing the terms that led to his signing the marriage certificate saying that he had be betrayed and fed a false hood. He said that Uhuru had promised him the flag bearer ship in return for signing on the dotted line. That prize was too good it seems as Uhuru was to later renege on his once golden egg promise, saying instead that an agreement was reached but that he was pressured into it and changed his mind in favour for a delegate’s conference to select a flag bearer. These differences in the end fractured the three part alliance. Members of UDF are disgruntled and angered by what they termed as impolite and an abuse of the collective intelligence of their sup...

To say that Charity Ngilu is a master at the school yard game of Jump Rope is an understatement. She seems to do it with both mastery and lightening quick reflexes and alacrity not to mention timing and precision. Due to this skill she has earned herself the rather dubious honour and reputation as wish washy and her inability to stick to make a decision and stick to it no matter the following consequences is – with each move across the chequered political chess board- becoming more apparent. In a move two days ago that some called greed fuelled and others preservation ‘Mama Rainbow’ skipped once more across the political divide – having only recently deciding to go with the Oranges of the newly minted CORD alliance- spurned the PM and VP Kalonzo Msyoka and turned instead to the equally new Jubilee alliance which comprises of TNA, URP and UDF because as she put it she was ‘betrayed in the pre-election agreement.’   This change of heart should not however have come as any shock to...