Kenyan Idiot

This month marks a year since President Uhuru Kenyatta took the wheel of the bus known as Kenya. Though the dark cloud that has proven to be the pairs ICC trial continues to follow them like a noon time shadow they have managed to appear unscathed and unaffected choosing instead to concentrate all their energy into delivering on the numerous promises they made in their manifesto and in the months leading up to election day and again in his inauguration speech. Still waiting The then candidates promised among other things state of the art Stadiums in every county, inclusion of the youth and women in government, then they uttered the words that made all the nations standard one   pupils squeal with joy and wait with rapt attention and anticipation: they promised each standard one pupil a laptop – words too ostentatious even on paper. A fool hardy utterance considering some schools- if you’d even call them that- in the country have neither desks nor chairs or even blackboar...

Ever idea or scheme can be good or even great given copious hours of planning and time to working out every possible kink or pitfall sometimes as they arise. This is what was thought of Devolution; it looked like a great concept... on paper and in practice look at America, it has worked there... So there’s no reason why it shouldn’t work for Kenya...Right?   Africa or at least Zimbabwe, Uganda and Kenya in particular have repeatedly and rather loudly - over booming megaphones – shouted that we don’t look to the West for direction. Guys in case you hadn’t gotten the memo the concept of devolved government *was and is used in America and the UK... more proof? The words Senator and Governor should be a dead giveaway! Size and population differences between the two notwithstanding devolution has proved its worth and transformative power, in some counties more than others- a shining example of which is Governor Alfred Mutuas- yes the former government spin doctor- Machakos cou...

It was just before Christmas when Kenyans came home to find that their local TV stations had faded to black, leaving us instead with a message to explain their sudden blackout. The three The Standard Group, Nation Media Group and Royal Media services (aka KTN, NTV, QTV and Citizen TV) did so in protest of the looming switch from an analogue platform to a digital one. When their case against the CCK was thrown out by Justice David Majanja the three took action and went off air until Christmas evening. Once they were on air once more the three went back to court to appeal the decision, meanwhile the courts ordered the migration to proceed and as a result those who had not bought the Universal Set Top Boxes worth approximately 5,000 shillings and lived in Nairobi and its environs woke up Monday morning to find nothing but the white rainy look of an unturned TV set- translation: They had been cut off! Prompting some Kenyans to rush to their nearest retailer, to tighten their belts a...

It was exactly one week ago today on Mashujaa Day eve and I like many Kenyans sat impatient for the conclusion of the 9 pm news on KTN so as to dive collectively into the truth about what really went on during one of the countries darkest 4 day periods in a long while. Almost a month earlier, on September 21 st a group of terrorists violently took over the upmarket Westgate mall in what would turn out to be days of terror that would result in more than 60 lives lost. The country watched in horrified amazement that afternoon and deep into the dead of night as the squad of men went in and shot, or blew dozens of innocent lives away. The siege showed us the twin faces of our nation and most of its people. This devastating attack brought out the best of all that is Kenyan as we found within ourselves bravery and limitless kindness. The Red Cross risked their lives and viewed a most horrifying scene simple to rescue those held hostage inside the local hang out spot. The police w...

Politicians never miss the opportunity to do what they do best; politic. For this special group of people every even can and often will be turned into an impromptu political rally of sorts they have proven time and time again that all they need is a microphone, podium, stage or raised platform and most importantly a crowed of eager and adoring supporters. They are always armed with witty and clever lines and are never short of a comment or insight into the latest happenings and goings on. They are rarely off the pulse and more often than not off the cuff- there is nothing wrong with that, in fact we have come to expect it from our political leaders. But when does politicking cross the line? At a wedding? In church on Sunday? Not quite, this is weird but not all together in bad taste. What is in bad taste and absolutely unacceptable is when our mighty and powerful, politicos chose the funeral of 4 teachers and 11 students who died two weeks ago as a result of a road accident. This wa...

Never before has a cartoon caused quite an uproar or such debate as the one published in the Daily Nation sometime last week, the artist, Gado one of the country’s best-in my opinion drew the Deputy Prime Minister laid out on the chairs of the plane having his back massaged by some females who were said to be MP’s that accompanied him on a trip around the continent.   A jet that cost the country anywhere from 100million shillings to a low- I use the word loosely- 18.5million- well it is lower than 100M! Before this expensive revelation was made and sent the country buzzing, tweeting and facebook-ing like mad there was another cause for concern and loud but peaceful protests through the streets of the capital city, a family of pigs in tow. Our MP’s have long since earned themselves the very unflattering nick name ‘MPigs’- hence the pigs. They fast earned the name and hashtag because of their seemingly insatiable greed! These honourable men and women are always all too quick ...

Saturday 27 th of April began just like any other for many an average Kenyan. For me it began with breakfast and the usual nose around social media for the latest in news and whole truths, half truths with a heaped spoon full of gossip added into the mix, oh and a few games thrown in to pass the time. This is exactly what I was doing when I got a piece of news I didn’t believe or refused to if you’d like. The first thing I saw as I returned leisurely back to the top of my Facebook page- formulating my next status update, some remark about the weather- was a large picture of the Makueni Senator Mutula Kilonzo, I wondered why his picture would be distributed by a local TV network. I focused on its accompanying header and found my answer the senator and lawyer had passed on. Being the sceptic I am I did not believe the news at once. In search of clarification or more concrete proof I switched channels, only to be greeted repeatedly by the same breaking news banner at the bottom of each...